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| Five
Ways People Will Misread Your Body Language |
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| Quote
of the Week:
"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."
Benjamin Franklin |
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Publisher's
Note:
A
silly question. Have you ever been ripped off? This question
probably has you rolling your eyes remembering some of your
experiences. Obviously everyone has been cheated at one time
or other.
Rip offs abound on the Internet. It's a dangerous place. Clever
cons, designed to separate you from your cash are everywhere.
An excellent way to protect yourself is to check out any company
you're not sure of is to do a search at RipOff report. http://www.ripoffreport.com/
Recently we did business with a company called ConsumerBase.
They got our money without delivering what was ordered. Had
I had the foresight to check them out I would have seen this
http://www.ripoffreport.com/Search/Body/consumerbase.aspx
Bottom Line: Look before you leap.
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Trivia:
What is the only letter of the alphabet that does not appear
in any of the names of the US States? Find the answer
here.
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Interesting
but useless fact: They say Mark Twain was born on a day in
1835 when Haley's Comet came into view. When He died in 1910,
Haley's Comet came into view again.
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Solecism
is the featured word of the week. Find the definition, pronunciation
key, and an example of it used in a sentence here.
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Dogfucius
Say: When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong
lane and going the wrong way.
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WEEK'S FREE DOWNLOAD |
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Five
Ways People Will Misread Your Body Language
by
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D
Your nonverbal signals don't always convey what you intended
them to. In fact, when people read your body language, you
can count on them making five major mistakes.
Body language was the basis for our earliest form of communication
when the split-second ability to recognize if a person or
situation was benign or dangerous was often a matter of
life or death.
Today, nonverbal signals play a key role in helping us form
quick impressions. But, as innate as this ability may be,
not all of our impressions are accurate. Although our brains
are hardwired to respond instantly to certain nonverbal
cues, that circuitry was put in place a long time ago
when our ancient ancestors faced threats and challenges
very different from those we face in today's modern society.
The problem is that the world has changed, but our body
reading processes are still based on a primitive emotional
reaction that hasn't changed much since humans began interacting
with one another.
For example: In our prehistory, it may have been vitally
important to see an approaching person's hands in order
to evaluate his intent. If hands were concealed they could
very well be holding a rock, a club, or other means of doing
us harm. In business interactions today, with no logical
reason to do so, we still instinctively mistrust someone
who keeps his hands out of sight in his pockets,
below the table, or behind his back.
The following is adapted from my new book, "The Silent
Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help or
Hurt How You Lead." Here are the five mistakes
people make when they read your body language:
1) They won't consider the context.
When it comes to body language, context is king. You can't
really make sense of someone's nonverbal message unless
you understand the circumstances behind it. Context is a
weave of variables including location, relationships, time
of day, past experience, and even room temperature. Depending
on the context, the same nonverbal signals can take on totally
different meanings.
Your team members, and colleagues won't always have access
to this insight. So if you yawn in a staff meeting because
you were up early for an international business call
let people know why you're tired. Without this context,
you'll look like you're just bored.
2) They'll find meaning in one gesture.
People are constantly trying to evaluate your state of mind
by monitoring your body language. But all too often they
will assign meaning to a single (and sometimes irrelevant)
nonverbal cue. And, since the human brain pays more attention
to negative messages than it does to positive ones, people
are mainly on the alert for any sign that indicates you're
in a bad mood and not to be approached.
So you may be more comfortable standing with your
arms folded across your chest (or you may be cold), but
don't be surprised when others judge that gesture as resistant
and unapproachable.
3) They won't know your baseline.
One of the keys to accurately reading body language is to
compare someone's current nonverbal response to their baseline,
or normal behavior. But if people haven't observed you over
time, they have little basis for that comparison.
Remember this when meeting people for the first time. They
won't know that you habitually frown when you are concentrating.
(And you may not realize it either unless you ask a friend
or coach for feedback.) Others will most likely think the
frown is a reaction to something they said or did.
4) They'll evaluate you through an array of personal biases.
There is a woman in my yoga class who liked me from the
moment we met. I'd prefer to believe that this was a result
of my charismatic personality, but I know for a fact that
it's because I resemble her favorite aunt.
Sometimes biases work in your favor an example of
the so-called "halo effect." But biases can also
work against you. What if, instead of someone they like,
you remind people of someone they despise? You might overcome
it with time, but you can bet that their initial response
to you won't be a good one.
5) They'll evaluate through a filter of cultural biases.
When it comes to nonverbal communication and cultural differences,
you can expect to be judged by behaviors that include how
close you stand to a colleague in conversation, how much
or little you touch others, the degree of emotion in your
voice, the amount of eye contact you display, and the kind
of hand gestures you use. And what feels so right in one
culture may be seen as highly insulting in another. (So
before you attend that international business meeting, do
a little research to on the nonverbal business practices
that you're most likely to encounter.)
These are the five mistakes you can expect people to make.
Understanding them, and trying not to make the same mistakes,
will help you be a more effective nonverbal communicator.
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is an executive coach, keynote
speaker, seminar leader, and author of "The Silent
Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help or
Hurt How You Lead." Visit her website at www.CKG.com
or contact her directly here CGoman@CKG.com.
Reprint Permission: SalesDog Newsletters
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form provided that "www.SalesDog.com"
is indicated as the source. Distribution on Internet should
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Trivia:
What
is the only letter of the alphabet that does not appear in
any of the names of the US States? Find the answer
here.
Word
of the Week: Solecism noun [sol-uh-siz-uh m]
- A breach of good manners or etiquette.

- A nonstandard or ungrammatical usage, as unflammable
and they was.

- Any error, impropriety, or inconsistency.
Example: Frank's solecism caused his debate team much embarrassment.
Definition
& Example courtesy of Dictionary.com
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